Quality Time. How important is it? Well, in my point of view, and as shown in certain studies as well, it is crucial for a healthy & well working relationship. Let’s find out more about it.
What actually defines Quality Time, what is it?
When my partner me are spending quality time together we always try to to something fun. Or something relaxing. And what we also do is that we choose an acitivity we both agree on, we both look forward to, we both enjoy and both can get something out of it. The funny thing is that spending Quality Time together on a regular basis, became such a steady part of our relationship, of our life, that it became “normal”. It became a thing we just do.
A very important part of it is that we both free up time for it. A while ago, when we began spending Quality Time together, we both agreed on that either the phone goes off or we don’t take calls and don’t read or send emails or whatsapps or any other social media. That is to ensure we give each other full attention so that we can enjoy the activity and the time together to the fullest. The reason we do bring the phone to the Quality Time is, that we enjoy taking pictures of us having a great time together. Pictures are just an awesome way to remember funny times.
So the purpose of spending Quality Time together is to build memories. Building memories of a great day, a fun acitivity, a great conversation, an experience of something new, and so on.
Next to building memories, Quality Time gives a very good possibility to communicate. Sometimes we talk about important stuff like dreams, wishes, the future, things we want to accomplish and things from the past. It is such a great gift to give and receive undivided attention from and for your loved one, I can really recommend it. Sharing thoughts in this set up of Quality Time, is a great way to connect with your partner.
“Getting enough couple time builds intimacy, opens communication and strengthens your bond, which in turn strengthens your marriage”, is a clear statement which shows how much power Quality Time can have.
Connection through communication during Quality Time
So Quality Time also gives you, as a couple, the opportunity to discuss things. To talk about things going on in your mind and to listen to your partner. So next to building memories, which is also very important, spending Quality Time is important in order to “get to know your partner”. When you’ve been in a relationship for quite a while, of course you know your partner already. Still, I think there are always things you do not know about your partner, there is always something new to develop. When talking deeply, you can learn to understand your partners thoughts, dreams, goals and his or her thinking about certain topics. Also, when talking regularly, you understand the things your partner is dealing with at the moment. We all know there are ups and downs happening in everybody’s lives. If we talk about our issues, things we may be worried about, we are happy about, we are anxious, we look forward to and so on, we connect with our partner. We let him/her be a part of our thoughts, of our emotions, of the person we are.
What activities to do during Quality Time?
Well, to give you some ideas on where to start spending Quality Time, I jot down some of the things we do on a regular or sometimes not so regular basis:
- Go for a walk
- Going to the beach
- Going to the movies
- Eating in our favourite restaurant
- Taking dance class together
- Doing a weekend trip
- Doing a one day trip visiting a city close
- Spending vacation together
And a lot more things of course, these are just some ideas.
What do you and your partner like to do? What are the both of you enjoy doing? Maybe it is cooking together, visiting friends, family. Maybe you taking a course together or going out for a walk from time to time. What connects you?
A friends couple I know they actually have an amazing hobby, they participate two or three times a week on a mountain bike training class, in order to prepare for their summer mountain bike trip which will be a two week long tour through the Alpes – great thing. Both love mountain biking and both get a lot out of it, and what a great thing they can share and do this together.
Isn’t this great?!
We are so busy – how to squeeze Quality Time into our agenda?
It all sounds very nice and easy right now, but I know nowadays we all do have extremely busy lives, so sometimes it just doesn’t seem to be possible, spending Quality Time with your partner, I guess. So how to do this then?
Well, it is all a question of setting priorities, and taking decisions. You think about it in a way which gives you freedom to decide. Ask yourself the question: “What is more important?”, in terms of free time, working time, time with friends, and whatever it is you are struggling with when having to make a decision. You can also weigh two things against each other and ask yourself the question which of the two things are more important right now. This already helps you one step further in making a decision. For example if I need to work longer but actually have an appointment with my boyfriend the same time, then I weigh those two things against each other. Questions to ask: Can I do the workstuff tomorrow instead or is it really important to be handled with right now? Is my boyfriend available another evening of the week so we can postpone our date? So this is a way to balance these things out, when being under time pressure, for example. The key is to constantly count your partner & your relationship into your life and into your time you have.
Love is the answer,